Traveling with intention

At the age of 16, Mary Kay Brautigan experienced something no child should have to go through at her age, the death of her mother. To help cope with her loss, a friend and exchange student from Ecuador invited her to come stay with her back home in her country for the summer.

“It saved my life in a lot of ways,” recalled Mary Kay. “I was immersed there. That was the first time I felt immersion. I lived there for three months and had to speak the language, meet new people and get to know them. It was so hard, but I loved it.”

Mary Kay never stopped thinking about it. When she got home, she went on to graduate from high school and then after graduation, she went to live in Spain with the aspiration of working for the United Nations as a translator. However, later on, Mary Kay missed her boyfriend (and now husband) Pat back home. She moved back, and the two plotted that they would return to Spain together for Pat’s junior year of school through study abroad.

“We were there for nine months,” said Mary Kay. “That kind of prefaced a life’s desire for us to create experiences and trips where you could simply absorb a culture. You really mop it up when you travel slowly and can just be. You’re not chasing anything.”

As life went on for Mary Kay and Pat, they had two children and made it a point to take them on trips where they could learn about new cultures.

“I think that was the greatest gift we could have given the kids,” recalled Mary Kay. “We gave them new eyes through travel. Our son Adam has Asperger’s, so change doesn’t come easy to him. But, we gave him soft landings like bringing his own cereal for the duration of our trips, so he could learn to adapt. Today, he adapts better than others in his situation.”

After Pat retired, the couple’s goal was to get back to immersing themselves in different cultures with travel for an extended period of time. Their goal has taken them to Ecuador, Spain, Guatemala, South Africa and Asia (Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand). Each trip brought new relationships, experiences and memories they hold dear to this day and look forward to experiencing again soon in the new year.

See what Mary Kay had to say about what it’s like preparing for and reflecting on her and Pat’s immersion trips:

What can you expect with immersion travel?

If you’re going to enjoy it, you have to get up and get out. You have to greet the day every day and look for serendipity in the day every day. Sometimes, the days would be just like they are at home – walking the same path, seeing the same things. But, for us, every day there was a serendipitous moment because we opened our eyes to that. You have to have open eyes. 

We’ve also been able to form relationships in each of our travels. In South Africa for example, we still keep in touch with our housekeeper from the Airbnb we stayed in right on the edge of Kruger National Park. We just adored and loved being with her. Eventually, we went to her village, then her church service and more. We keep in touch almost daily, Betty and I. We also became friends with the owner of the property and text at least weekly.

In Guatemala, we would walk into town every day. Each day, we passed this little family on the curb. The mother had her little baby in her arms and a toddler running around next to her. We would stop and talk to the mother one-on-one. We became friends with her, not in a giving money way, but a human way. We related to her as a woman. If I was a penny-tourist dashing through one a five-night stay, which is still fun, we wouldn’t have had the time to find her and get to know her. We invited her to our condo and the whole family showed up. The kids went swimming and in the kitchen she said to me, ‘No one has ever talked to me like that. Nobody has ever made me feel like a woman…like, real.’ It’s nothing I did, but it was simply just taking the time.

Immersion can happen in a short and long period of time as long as you have intention.

How do you decide on your choice of places?

Wherever the wind takes us! No, there are some factors there, finances being one. Europe for example would be great to go to for three months, but it’s expensive. Hence, Latin America, South Africa, etc. have been great options. But we’ve stayed away from Europe other than Spain because it’s expensive.

Do you have a favorite place from your travels?

Spain is special because that’s where we started our marriage. We went out there two days after we got married - off we went! So, 50 years later now, we’re going back in December. For a just a week though! Spain is special, but we didn’t form relationships there as easily because it’s very developed and sophisticated, so it’s a little different. We got to know the olive lady and the meat man,  but not like we got to know people in Guatemala and other parts of Latin America.

For our trip to the east in Asia, planning all of that was a mystery on its own for me. We had a private guides do all of that with us throughout the countries. It was too big for my brain to plan! But, South Africa has probably been number one. Spain is still so dear to us though.

Is there a particular person or place that has really stuck with you from your trips?

Victor, Victor, Victor [For those of you who want to get to know Victor and why he is so special to Mary Kay and her family, read his story here.]. Guatemala will stick with us forever. That’s the benefit of immersion trips. You don’t always find them, they find you! When you’re open and have eyes for it, you find it!  

When you prepare for your immersion trips, do you research beforehand, go with the flow, or both?  

A little bit of both! Once we decide on a place – it’s intense searching on Airbnb and VRBO – we’re set and we know where to go. That process usually starts in the summer and it’s really a lot of fun.

Then, during the fall and winter, we start learning about the country more in-depth. What are we going to do and see? We don’t study the country until after we’ve committed to going to it. Some people don’t do that, and that’s okay! But, we’re not very analytical. We’re more intuitive travelers that kind of fly by the seat of our pants.

Do you have a list of future places you’re interested in?

I think we would like to explore Ecuador again. We have adopted family there. We also will go back to South Africa, but with COVID still, it’s a little foggy. But by next year, we will be in South Africa or Ecuador.

If people are interested in immersion-type travel, what are some pointers?

Don’t be afraid to do it! If there is that interest, you CAN do it, you just have to give up the predictable trip. Start thinking – ‘I don’t need Arizona, Florida, the villages, club houses, etc.’ Immersion travel has taught me that I love my country, but a lot of other countries are exceptional as well. And that’s why we travel, so we can experience the joy other countries have and can bring, but also their heartaches too.

So, have the interest, feel the excitement and just jump in and do it.